When the Industry Gets It Backwards
Most financial advisors obsess over portfolio returns—but completely miss what women actually need during major life changes.
After eight years of serving women in transition, I’ve seen this pattern over and over again. The financial services industry has convinced itself that “financial planning” means picking investments and tracking performance. But that’s exactly backwards.
When you’re going through divorce, widowhood, or navigating a sudden inheritance, your biggest concerns have little to do with stocks and bonds. They’re much more personal—and far more complex.
It’s not, “Should I rebalance my portfolio?”
It’s, “Can I afford to keep my home?”
“What will taxes look like after dividing assets?”
“Will I be financially okay on my own?”
These are real questions that demand not just numbers—but empathy, context, and thoughtful planning.
What Real Planning Looks Like
Let me give you two examples that capture what true financial planning really means.
One of my divorced clients shared that the hardest part of post-divorce life wasn’t the paperwork—it was losing the sounding board she’d always had in her spouse. When it came time to decide whether to buy the house she’d fallen in love with, she didn’t need a lecture about market trends. She needed a thought partner. Someone who could walk through the tradeoffs and help her feel confident saying, “Yes, I can do this.”
Another client, recently widowed, was heartbroken and uncertain. Her husband had passed away shortly after retirement, and she didn’t know if the dream cabin they’d planned together was still possible. Through our planning sessions, we determined that she could, in fact, move forward with the project—and now, that cabin is a place of comfort and peace, honoring the dream they shared.
That’s the power of financial planning done right. It’s not about beating the market. It’s about helping women rebuild confidence and create clarity during times of upheaval.
If the original owner had already started taking Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs), you may have to continue those annual distributions in addition to emptying the account within 10 years.
Missing a required withdrawal can trigger a 25% IRS penalty on the amount that should have been taken.
This rule surprises many beneficiaries, especially those still processing their grief. They either leave the account untouched—thinking they’re preserving it—or withdraw large sums at once, triggering a huge tax bill.
Smart Move: Work with a financial advisor or tax professional to create a withdrawal strategy that aligns with your financial goals while minimizing your tax burden. Sometimes spreading the withdrawals over 10 years can reduce your total tax liability.
More Than Numbers: The Emotional Side of Money
Money is emotional—especially during major transitions. Divorce, death, or inheritance can all trigger uncertainty, grief, and even guilt. You’re not just making financial decisions—you’re making life decisions that affect your security, identity, and peace of mind.
A financial plan grounded only in spreadsheets misses that reality. Real planning means understanding the “why” behind every decision. It’s about aligning your money with your values and goals so that every step you take supports the life you want next.
This is why comprehensive planning is especially valuable for women in transition. Research shows that women are more likely to seek holistic financial advice, not just investment management. They value collaboration and education—two things that traditional, performance-driven firms often overlook.
At Reset Financial Planning, I focus on providing both clarity and confidence. Whether that means running the numbers on whether to keep a home, modeling income options after a job loss, or building a new retirement plan post-divorce, my goal is always the same: to help you make informed choices without fear or confusion.
How Financial Planning Actually Helps You Move Forward
So, what does true financial planning involve? It’s much more than tracking account balances. It includes:
- Understanding your new financial reality. What do you own, what do you owe, and how does that support your goals?
- Clarifying your priorities. What matters most right now—stability, flexibility, independence, or legacy?
- Creating a roadmap. A plan that integrates cash flow, taxes, insurance, investments, and estate planning—so everything works together.
- Providing emotional and strategic partnership. Because sometimes, you don’t just need advice—you need someone who “gets it.”
When you’re navigating life after loss, divorce, or change, you deserve more than generic investment advice. You deserve a partner who helps you make confident decisions for your next chapter.
How to Choose the Right Financial Advisor
If you’ve ever felt dismissed, overwhelmed, or talked down to in a financial meeting—you’re not alone. Many women share that they’ve been made to feel uninformed or excluded from conversations about their own money. That’s unacceptable, and it’s one of the reasons I started my firm.
Finding the right financial advisor isn’t just about credentials—it’s about fit. Here’s what to look for:
- A planner, not just a money manager.
Many advisors lead with investments because that’s how they’re compensated. But real planning goes beyond the portfolio. Look for someone who offers financial planning as a standalone service or emphasizes it as a core part of their process. - Experience with transitions.
If you’re dealing with divorce, widowhood, or inheritance, choose someone experienced with those situations. Advisors with the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) designation, for example, have specialized training in navigating the financial and emotional complexities of divorce. - A fee structure that makes sense for you.
You don’t have to hand over your assets for management to get good advice. Many independent, fiduciary advisors (like me) offer project-based or hourly financial planning so you can get guidance without transferring investments. - A focus on education and empowerment.
The right advisor should take time to explain concepts in plain English, not jargon. You should feel smarter and more confident after every conversation—not more confused. - A values-based approach.
Look for someone who helps you align your money with what matters most, whether that’s caring for your family, supporting a cause, or creating a secure, flexible lifestyle.
When you find an advisor who listens deeply, respects your goals, and helps you make thoughtful decisions, financial planning transforms from something intimidating into something empowering.
Common Mistakes Women Make When Seeking Financial Advice
Even the most accomplished, intelligent women can make mistakes when searching for financial guidance—often because the industry hasn’t been built with their needs in mind. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid:
- Assuming all advisors are the same.
Some advisors work for large brokerage firms and may be incentivized to sell products. Others operate independently and act as fiduciaries, legally bound to put your interests first. Always ask, “Are you a fiduciary 100% of the time?” - Thinking “I don’t have enough money to work with a planner.”
Financial planning isn’t only for the ultra-wealthy. In fact, planning is often most valuable during times of transition—before your assets are consolidated or your future is clear. - Focusing solely on investment performance.
Market returns matter, but they’re not the whole picture. A well-built plan accounts for taxes, spending, insurance, and estate considerations—all of which can have a bigger long-term impact than chasing higher returns. - Not involving emotions in the conversation.
Many women try to make financial decisions “rationally,” suppressing how they feel. But emotions are part of the process. An advisor who creates space for those feelings can help you make decisions that truly fit your life. - Waiting too long to ask for help.
It’s common to wait until things feel urgent—after a divorce settlement is finalized, or after a spouse passes away. But the earlier you start planning, the more options you’ll have and the less stress you’ll feel.
Avoiding these mistakes can help you find the right kind of support and move forward with clarity and confidence.
Final Thoughts
True financial planning is about so much more than managing investments. It’s about helping you feel grounded when everything around you feels uncertain. It’s about rebuilding your confidence, aligning your finances with your values, and creating a plan that supports your future.
You’ve already proven your strength by facing change head-on. The right financial plan simply helps you move forward with clarity and peace of mind.
Sara Zuckerman, CFP®, CDFA® is the founder of Reset Financial Planning in Fort Collins, CO. Through virtual planning sessions, she partners with women nationwide who are navigating major life transitions, particularly divorce, inheritance and widowhood. Sara’s mission is to help women create a fresh financial start that aligns with their values and empowers them to move forward with confidence.
If you are interested in learning about how Reset Financial Planning can help you take charge of your finances as an independent woman, please contact us at or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.
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Disclaimer: This article is provided for educational, general information, and illustration purposes only. Nothing contained in the material constitutes tax advice, a recommendation for the purchase or sale of any security, or investment advisory services. We encourage you to consult a financial planner, accountant, and/or legal counsel for advice specific to your situation. Reproduction of this material is prohibited without written permission from Reset Financial Planning, LLC, and all rights are reserved.
