10 Essential Books That Help Widows Navigate Life After Loss: A Healing Reading List

Books That Help Widows Navigate Life After Loss

Losing a spouse can feel overwhelming, and while grief is deeply personal, finding guidance and comfort from others who have walked this path can be invaluable. Here are ten carefully selected books that offer support, wisdom, and practical advice for women facing this difficult transition.

Finding Comfort Through Story

1. Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss

By Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen

This beautifully illustrated book serves as a gentle introduction to the grieving process. Through the metaphor of making “tear soup,” it validates the personal, unique journey of grief. Its simple yet profound message particularly helps those who need to share their feelings of loss with family and friends.

2. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief

By Martha Whitmore Hickman

A cornerstone resource in grief support groups, Healing After Loss provides daily readings that offer comfort and understanding. These short reflections create space for processing emotions day by day, allowing readers to heal at their own pace.

Coping with Sudden Loss

3. I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye

By Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, PhD

Specifically addressing unexpected loss, this compassionate guide helps widows navigate the shock and sorrow of sudden bereavement. It offers practical tools and emotional support for those struggling with the unique challenges of unexpected grief.

4. A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss

By Jerry Sittser

In this moving memoir, Sittser transforms his personal tragedy into universal wisdom about finding meaning through loss. His insights particularly resonate with those seeking to understand their spiritual journey through grief.

Modern Perspectives on Grief

5. It's OK That You're Not OK

By Megan Devine

Devine challenges traditional grief narratives, offering a refreshing and honest approach to loss. This book provides validation for those feeling pressured to “move on,” while offering practical self-care strategies for the grief journey.

6. Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy

By Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

Following the sudden loss of her husband, Sandberg combines personal experience with Grant’s research-based insights to create a practical guide for rebuilding life after loss. Their collaborative approach offers both emotional support and actionable strategies.

Personal Journeys Through Loss

7. The Year of Magical Thinking

By Joan Didion

This acclaimed memoir chronicles Didion’s first year of widowhood with raw honesty and elegant prose. Her exploration of grief’s psychological landscape offers readers a profound understanding of bereavement’s complex nature.

8. The Widower's Notebook

By Jonathan Santlofer

Though written from a male perspective, Santlofer’s candid account of sudden spousal loss speaks universally to the experience of grief. His journey through shock, sorrow, and healing resonates across gender boundaries.

Understanding Grief Through Different Lenses

9. The Other Side of Sadness

By George A. Bonanno

Bonanno brings scientific insight to the grief experience, challenging conventional wisdom about bereavement. His research-based perspective offers hope by highlighting human resilience in the face of loss.

10. When Things Fall Apart

By Pema Chödrön

This spiritual classic provides timeless wisdom for navigating life’s darkest moments. Chödrön’s Buddhist perspective offers practical tools for facing grief with mindfulness and compassion.

Reading Through Recovery

Reading can serve as both a companion and guide while processing grief and navigating the complexities of widowhood. These books offer different perspectives, from emotional healing to practical advice, ensuring you can find the right resource for wherever you are in your journey.

Looking Forward

While no book can erase the pain of loss, these resources can help light the way forward. As you navigate this new chapter, remember that healing happens at your own pace. Whether you’re seeking emotional support, spiritual guidance, or practical advice, there’s wisdom within these pages to help you rebuild and rediscover hope.

Sara Zuckerman, CFP®, CDFA® is the founder of Reset Financial Planning located in Scottsdale, AZ.  She supports women across the country with a focus on helping divorcees and widows align their financial resources with their values to plan for the next chapter of their lives.

If you are interested in learning about how Reset Financial Planning can help you take charge of your finances as a newly single woman, please contact us at  or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

Sign up for Reset Financial Planning’s Monthly Newsletter to effortlessly stay on top of my blog posts and occasional extra goodies and receive my Get Your Finances Organized Checklist for free!

Disclaimer: This article is provided for educational, general information, and illustration purposes only. Nothing contained in the material constitutes tax advice, a recommendation for the purchase or sale of any security, or investment advisory services. We encourage you to consult a financial planner, accountant, and/or legal counsel for advice specific to your situation. Reproduction of this material is prohibited without written permission from Reset Financial Planning, LLC, and all rights are reserved. 

Benefits Open Enrollment: Key Considerations for Newly Single Women

Benefits Open Enrollment: Key Considerations for Newly Single Women

As a newly single woman, whether through divorce or the loss of a spouse, benefits open enrollment presents an important opportunity to reassess your health and financial security. Significant life changes often require adjustments to your health, life, and disability insurance to ensure your coverage aligns with your new circumstances and goals.

If you work for a company that provides benefits for you, you typically have open enrollment in October or November each year.  Now is the perfect time to review your benefits in light of your new situation and make sure they are appropriate.  In today’s post, I am going to discuss some key points to keep in mind during open enrollment.

Review Your Health Insurance Options

If you previously shared health insurance with your spouse, this is the time to evaluate your own coverage needs. You may have access to employer-sponsored plans or need to purchase insurance through the marketplace.

  • Employer-Sponsored Coverage: If you are employed, compare your health insurance options, considering monthly premiums, deductibles, co-pays, and out-of-pocket maximums. Ensure the plan you choose includes your preferred doctors and provides adequate coverage for any ongoing medical needs. This is also a great time to consider moving to a High Deductible Health Plan and taking advantage of an HSA if your company offers that opportunity.  An HSA is triple tax-exempt savings account: you get a current year tax deduction on any contributions you make, your account grows tax deferred, and if you use the money for healthcare, you are able to withdraw it without paying any taxes as well.  This is the only type of account that offers this kind of tax benefit and so it can be a great way to get some additional tax smart savings.  Do keep in mind though, that you have to have a High Deductible Health Plan in order to be eligible and that may not be the right solution for your family given your medical needs.
  • Marketplace Coverage: If you’re purchasing insurance on your own, explore other plans before allowing your coverage to auto-renew. Reassess your income and family size, as this can impact your eligibility for subsidies under the Affordable Care Act.

If you’re in a new state or anticipate moving, don’t forget to review the availability of Medicare Supplement or Advantage plans if you’re eligible.

Evaluate Life Insurance Needs

As your circumstances shift, so might your life insurance needs. Whether you’re now solely responsible for raising children, funding future goals, or paying off a mortgage, your coverage should reflect your current responsibilities.

  • Permanent Life Insurance: If you have a permanent policy (like whole life or universal life), request an in-force illustration to review how the policy is performing. This includes checking premiums, dividends, and cash value accumulation. It’s always a good idea to compare this to the illustrations you were shown when you purchased the policy to understand if it is performing as you were told that it would.
  • Term Insurance: Take stock of how many years remain on your term life policy. You may need to adjust the length or explore conversion options if your needs have changed. While the term life offered through your employer may cover your needs, you always have the option to add a private policy if it does not.

It’s also important to update the beneficiaries of your life insurance policies. In the event of a divorce, ensure your former spouse is removed if necessary, and that primary and contingent beneficiaries reflect your new wishes.

Understand Disability Insurance

Now that you are single, disability insurance can provide crucial income protection in the event that you are unable to work due to illness or injury. Many employers offer coverage, but it’s important to understand what is included in your policy.

  • Adequate Coverage: Review whether your employer-provided disability insurance covers enough of your income to meet your living expenses if you’re disabled. Consider whether purchasing additional individual disability insurance is necessary. And if you don’t currently have coverage, I highly recommend adding it.  It is more likely that you will be unable to work for some period of time due to illness than that you die and yet many people never think about having disability insurance.
  • Private Policies: If you anticipate job changes or self-employment, you may want to look into private disability insurance that isn’t tied to your employer.

Consider Long-Term Care Insurance

As a newly single woman, planning for future healthcare needs becomes even more important. Long-term care insurance can help cover services such as assisted living, nursing home care, or in-home assistance, which may be harder to afford without a partner’s income.

  • Policy Review: Ensure the policy benefits (such as the coverage amount and benefit period) are appropriate for your future needs. If you’ve received notices of premium increases, evaluate your options and ensure the coverage remains financially sustainable for the long term.

Update Beneficiaries and Ownership

It’s essential to update not only life insurance policies but also retirement accounts and other financial assets to reflect any changes to your beneficiaries. As a newly single woman, it’s even more important to ensure your primary and contingent beneficiaries are up to date.

  • Consider Trusts: If your estate planning includes creating an irrevocable life insurance trust (ILIT) or other financial vehicles, ensure the details are properly managed so that your beneficiaries are adequately protected.

Retirement and Income Planning

While this may not be directly tied to benefits enrollment, your retirement planning might also need a fresh look. If you’re now solely responsible for funding your retirement, ensure that your contributions align with your future goals.

  • Retirement Accounts: If you haven’t done so already, update your beneficiaries on all retirement accounts. Additionally, review your investment strategies to ensure they match your current financial situation and risk tolerance. It’s not uncommon for newly single women to feel differently about the level of risk in their investments than they did when married.  It is perfectly reasonable to update your asset allocation to something that feels more comfortable given your new circumstances.

Final Thoughts

Open enrollment is the ideal time to reassess your health and financial coverage, especially if you are navigating life as a newly single woman. Taking the time to carefully review your health insurance, life insurance, and disability insurance will provide peace of mind and help secure your financial future. Make the necessary updates and adjustments now so you can move forward confidently, knowing you are protected and prepared for the next chapter.

Sara Zuckerman, CFP®, CDFA® is the founder of Reset Financial Planning located in Scottsdale, AZ.  She supports women across the country with a focus on helping divorcees and widows align their financial resources with their values to plan for the next chapter of their lives.

If you are interested in learning about how Reset Financial Planning can help you take charge of your finances as a newly single woman, please contact us at  or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

Sign up for Reset Financial Planning’s Monthly Newsletter to effortlessly stay on top of my blog posts and occasional extra goodies and receive my Get Your Finances Organized Checklist for free!

Disclaimer: This article is provided for educational, general information, and illustration purposes only. Nothing contained in the material constitutes tax advice, a recommendation for the purchase or sale of any security, or investment advisory services. We encourage you to consult a financial planner, accountant, and/or legal counsel for advice specific to your situation. Reproduction of this material is prohibited without written permission from Reset Financial Planning, LLC, and all rights are reserved. 

 

Supporting Widowed Women: How No Longer Awkward Helps Me

Supporting Widowed Women: How No Longer Awkward Helps Me

As a financial planner specializing in serving women navigating the emotional and financial complexities of divorce or the loss of a spouse, I understand the importance of not just offering sound financial advice but also providing empathetic support during life’s most challenging transitions. In this context, Amy Florian’s book No Longer Awkward: Communicating with Clients through the Toughest Times of Life is an invaluable resource. This book serves as a guide to handling sensitive conversations with grace, empathy, and professionalism, which is essential in my role as a financial planner supporting divorced and widowed women.

Understanding the Emotional Landscape of Clients in Transition

When working with women who are dealing with life-altering events like divorce or the death of a spouse, I am often one of the first professionals they turn to for guidance. These clients are not just seeking financial advice; they are looking for someone who understands the emotional weight of their situation. No Longer Awkward addresses the common discomfort many professionals feel when dealing with grief, loss, or major life changes. Florian emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating the emotions these clients are experiencing, which is crucial in building trust and rapport.

The book delves into various aspects of grief and loss, providing insights into the grieving process, the impact of loss on decision-making, and the different ways individuals process these experiences. By understanding these dynamics, I can better tailor my approach to each client’s unique emotional state, thereby providing not just financial guidance, but also the emotional support they need to move forward.

Enhancing Communication Skills for Difficult Conversations

Effective communication is at the heart of any successful financial planning relationship, but it becomes even more critical when dealing with clients in transition. Florian’s book offers practical advice on how to navigate difficult conversations with clients who are grieving or in the midst of a divorce. The book covers a range of topics, including:

  • Listening with Empathy: Florian emphasizes the importance of active listening and being fully present during conversations with clients. This means not just hearing their words but also understanding the emotions behind them. By honing my listening skills, I can better identify my clients’ needs and concerns, allowing me to provide more personalized advice.
  • Asking the Right Questions: The book provides guidance on how to ask sensitive questions that encourage clients to open up about their concerns and fears without feeling overwhelmed. Florian suggests using open-ended questions that allow clients to express their emotions and thoughts freely, which can lead to a deeper understanding of their financial and emotional needs.
  • Responding with Compassion: Knowing how to respond appropriately to a client’s emotions is crucial. Florian offers advice on how to acknowledge and validate clients’ feelings without minimizing their experiences. This can help me create a safe space for clients to express themselves, which is essential for building trust.

By mastering these communication skills, I can become more than just a financial advisor to my clients; I can become a trusted confidante who supports them through their most challenging times.

Building Lasting Relationships through Trust and Empathy

One of the key messages of No Longer Awkward is that trust is built through empathy and genuine care for clients. Florian argues that professionals who can successfully navigate difficult conversations and provide empathetic support are more likely to build long-lasting relationships with their clients. This is particularly important in this field, where clients are often dealing with highly emotional situations.

The book highlights the importance of being proactive in the approach to client relationships. This means not waiting for clients to bring up their concerns, but rather, anticipating their needs and addressing them before they become major issues. By being attentive and responsive, I can demonstrate to my clients that I am genuinely invested in their well-being, which can help to solidify my relationship with them.

In addition to building trust, Florian also discusses the importance of maintaining professional boundaries. While it’s important to be empathetic and supportive, it’s also crucial to maintain the professionalism that is expected of me as a financial planner. The book offers practical tips on how to balance empathy with professionalism, ensuring that I can provide the support my clients need without overstepping boundaries.

Applying the Lessons of No Longer Awkward to My Financial Planning Practice

As a financial planner working with women in transition, the lessons from No Longer Awkward can be directly applied to my practice in several ways:

  • Customized Financial Planning: Every client’s situation is unique, and their financial plans should reflect that. By understanding the emotional context of my clients’ lives, I can create financial plans that are not only sound but also tailored to their specific needs and circumstances. For example, a recently widowed client may be more concerned about preserving wealth for her children, while a client going through a divorce may be focused on rebuilding her financial independence.
  • Holistic Client Support: Beyond financial advice, my clients may also need support in other areas of their lives. Florian’s book encourages professionals to take a holistic approach to client support, which may include providing referrals to therapists, grief counselors, or other professionals who can help address the emotional aspects of their transitions.
  • Proactive Client Engagement: By staying engaged with my clients through regular check-ins and updates, I can ensure that their financial plans continue to meet their evolving needs. This proactive approach not only helps to maintain strong client relationships but also demonstrates my commitment to their long-term well-being.
  • Education and Empowerment: Many women in transition may feel overwhelmed by the financial decisions they need to make. By educating my clients and empowering them to take control of their financial futures, I can help them regain a sense of stability and confidence. Florian’s book provides insights into how to communicate complex financial concepts in a way that is accessible and reassuring for my clients.

The Impact of Empathy in Supporting Widowed Women

Empathy is not just a soft skill; it’s a powerful tool for client retention and referrals. When clients feel understood and supported, they are more likely to stay with my practice and recommend my services to others. Florian’s book underscores the importance of building an empathetic practice, where clients feel valued and cared for.

For women in the midst of major life changes, who may already feel isolated or overwhelmed by their circumstances, finding a financial planner who can offer both professional expertise and emotional support can be a game-changer. By applying the lessons from No Longer Awkward, I can differentiate myself from other financial planners and create a practice that truly resonates with my clients.

Conclusion: Elevating My Practice with No Longer Awkward

No Longer Awkward is more than just a guide to handling difficult conversations; it’s a blueprint for building a financial planning practice that is grounded in empathy, trust, and genuine care for my clients. As I continue to serve women in transition, the insights and strategies from this book can help me enhance my communication skills, build stronger client relationships, and ultimately, provide more meaningful and impactful financial advice.

By embracing the principles of empathy and compassion outlined in Florian’s book, I can create a practice that not only meets the financial needs of my clients but also supports them emotionally through life’s toughest transitions. In doing so, I will not only help my clients achieve financial stability but also become a trusted partner in their journey toward healing and rebuilding their lives.

Sara Zuckerman, CFP®, CDFA® is the founder of Reset Financial Planning located in Scottsdale, AZ.  She supports women across the country with a focus on helping divorcees and widows align their financial resources with their values to plan for the next chapter of their lives.

If you are interested in learning about how Reset Financial Planning can help you take charge of your finances as a newly single woman, please contact us at  or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

Sign up for Reset Financial Planning’s Monthly Newsletter to effortlessly stay on top of my blog posts and occasional extra goodies and receive my Get Your Finances Organized Checklist for free!

Disclaimer: This article is provided for educational, general information, and illustration purposes only. Nothing contained in the material constitutes tax advice, a recommendation for the purchase or sale of any security, or investment advisory services. We encourage you to consult a financial planner, accountant, and/or legal counsel for advice specific to your situation. Reproduction of this material is prohibited without written permission from Reset Financial Planning, LLC, and all rights are reserved. 

You Lost Your Spouse – Do You Need a New Career?

Professional woman reconsidering her career after death of husband

Losing your spouse turns your world upside down.  Everything changes.  Plans you have had, goals you were working towards, can all change, sometimes in an instant.  It can be hard to wrap your mind around everything that has changed, and that will change, in your life.  One major change that often results from losing a spouse is a career change.  Whether it’s going back to work after a period home with the kids, needing to earn a higher salary to support the household on your own or having to dial back an intense career without a spouse there to help with the kids, change is often a consideration.  In this post, I will provide guidance on deciding whether a career change is necessary, or beneficial, after the death of your spouse.

Assess Your Current Situation

Making major life decisions, on top of major life changes, is overwhelming.  In fact, many experts will recommend that you wait a year before making any major decisions.  And while that can give you the time and space to make a more well thought out decision, it may not work given the reality of your situation.  But regardless of whether you have the luxury of time or not, you want to be as thoughtful as you can.  That starts with a thorough assessment of your current situation.

If you are already working, examine your current role.  How fulfilled are you by the work?  Is it something you are doing just for the income, or do you have a deeper connection with it?  Further, does the job provide a sense of purpose?  What about stability?  Examining how you feel about your current job will help you start to form a picture of what you really want.

Another major consideration is your financial stability.  When you had a partner earning income, things were probably very different financially.  And depending on what sorts of life insurance and other assets that you have, you may or may not need to increase your income.  The first step in understanding this is a thorough examination of your expenses and what it will take to keep your family financially stable.  Are you able to maintain your current situation or do you need more income or to sell your home or another solution to right size things now that you will be the sole earner?  Having a very clear understanding of your financial realities will be crucial in any career decisions that you make.

A final consideration is your work-life balance.  Having kids in the home in a two-career household is a challenge.  It will be even more challenging for you to balance as a single parent.  Will your current job allow you to manage new personal responsibilities?  If you must travel or work long hours, that may have worked with a husband to help with the kids but may not be possible now unless you have another support system.  How flexible and supportive has your employer been recently?  Do you think they will continue to be supportive as you adjust to being a single parent?  While it would be amazing if all employers were understanding and flexible with their employees, very few are and only you know how far your employer will stretch to support you.

Reflect on Your Personal and Professional Goals

This is also a good time to think about your career goals.  And if goals that you used to have still apply or if things have evolved.  Many women take a step back in their careers when they have kids to be able to be there when their families need them.  If you did that, are you now interested in reaccelerating your career?  Or alternatively, if you have a big job but relied on your husband being home to make it all work, do you need to dial back now?

Many women also consider work that is more aligned with their interests.  While having a part-time job that is boring but brings in some extra income might have been acceptable when you were married, if you now how to do it full-time, is it the right fit?  Would you be happier finding a full-time job that is more aligned with your interests so that you find it more fulfilling?

Also think about your longer-term aspirations.  What do you envision for yourself?  Do you want to be a C-suite executive or a business owner?  Or do you want to have a job that you can leave at the office every day so that you have time for your family and other pursuits?  Everyone has different values, and you need to understand what you value so that you can make a decision that will align with those values.

Once you understand where you want to go, then you can analyze how well your current situation fits with that.   Is there the potential for growth and advancement in your current field?  Or is it the right time to start that business that you have always had in the back of your mind?  Can you take on more risk or do you need to maintain the status quo for a while?

Explore Your Options

As you start to form a picture of what you want going forward, you can then start researching potential new career paths.  What industries or roles align with your interests and skills?  Do you have the necessary qualifications for what you want to do or is added education needed?  And if you need to pursue more education, how long will it take and what will it cost?

Pursuing a new industry is obviously going to take more time and money, and perhaps be riskier.  Do you have the resources to allow you to take that kind of risk at this time?  What about the energy?  You have already been through a lot, are you ready for the emotional and psychological impacts of another major life change? 

Think through the pros and cons of each possibility.  Lay them all out on a spreadsheet so you can compare.  Look for alternative options and paths.  It may not make sense for you to quit working and go back to school full-time, but if you really want to pursue more education, is there a way you can do it part-time while continuing to work?  Sure, it will take longer, but just being on the path to your goal will be much more fulfilling then drudging through a day-to-day that you hate because you don’t feel like you have any options.

Seek Support and Guidance

Before your husband passed, this was likely the kind of thing you would have discussed with him.  Now that he is not around to be your sounding board, you need to lean on your support network.  This may include family, friends, and colleagues that can provide emotional and practical support.

This is also a good time to seek advice and mentorship.  Is there someone in your company who you admire that you can turn to for mentorship and guidance at this time?  You can also talk to career counselors or mentors about your situation and aspirations.  And don’t forget to leverage support groups or networks for widows in transition.

It may also be a good time to get professional help.  This can come in different forms.  Consider working with a career coach who is familiar with your industry (or target industry) and can help you position yourself for success.  You may also consider a financial advisor who can help you think through the financial implications of going back to school or starting a business.  Have someone with experience run different financial scenarios for you to make sure that you have the runway you need to get where you want to go.

This is not a decision you want to make all on your own.  There are a number of resources that you can use to help you think through your options and make a sound decision.

Conclusion

Losing your spouse will often result in you reexamining every area in your life.  Through this process you may want to reconsider your career as well.  With all of the upheaval in your life, it can feel crazy to think about changing careers, but that doesn’t mean you should rule it out.  It is not a decision to take lightly or rush into.  Take the time to examine your options and get the support you need.  It is possible to transition to a fulfilling and suitable career path, but it is going to take some careful consideration and some time.

By carefully evaluating your current situation, reflecting on your goals, and seeking the right support, you can make an informed decision about whether a career change is the right step for you after the loss of your spouse.

Sara Zuckerman, CFP®, CDFA® is the founder of Reset Financial Planning located Scottsdale, AZ and serving women across the country with a focus on helping women who find themselves suddenly single in mid-life, align their financial resources with their values to plan for the next chapter of their lives.

 

If you are interested in learning about how I can help you take charge of your finances as a newly single woman, please contact me at  or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

 

Sign up for Reset FP’s Monthly Newsletter to effortlessly stay on top of my blog posts and occasional extra goodies and receive my Get Your Finances Organized Checklist for free!

 

Disclaimer: This article is provided for educational, general information, and illustration purposes only. Nothing contained in the material constitutes tax advice, a recommendation for purchase or sale of any security, or investment advisory services. We encourage you to consult a financial planner, accountant, and/or legal counsel for advice specific to your situation. Reproduction of this material is prohibited without written permission from Reset Financial Planning, LLC, and all rights are reserved. 

Updating Your Estate Plan After Divorce or the Loss of a Spouse

Updating estate plan after divorce or loss of spouse

Although not always thought of as a part of financial planning, estate planning is a crucial aspect of financial management, ensuring your wishes are carried out effectively.  Life changes such as divorce or the loss of a spouse necessitate careful review and updates to estate plans.  The term estate plan broadly covers your will, any trusts and beneficiaries on any financial accounts.

The end of your marriage changes many things.  Even if you had a will or trust in place during your marriage, it likely won’t make sense anymore given your change in circumstances.  Although it’s probably not the first thing you want to deal with, it is important to ensure your estate plan aligns with your current needs and wishes just in case something happens to you.

Key Components of Updating an Estate Plan

Your estate plan generally refers to your will, any trusts, and other legal documents that relate to your death or incapacitation.  In many cases, married people tend to set up their wills to leave everything to their surviving spouse and to name their spouse as their power of attorney and healthcare proxy.  Since you no longer have a spouse, you obviously need to change who will receive your assets, but also who can act on your behalf if you are no longer able (this is done in the power of attorney and healthcare proxy).

In addition to updating these documents, be sure to revisit the beneficiaries on any financial accounts you have, like your 401k, IRAs and life insurance policies.  The beneficiaries on these accounts trump anything that is stated in your will and assets move straight to the beneficiary without requiring a probate process.  If you previously listed your ex-husband as the beneficiary on these accounts, be sure to change it or he will get that money if anything happens to you.

You also need to think through guardianship for minor children if necessary, considering suitable guardians.  As a single parent, if something should happen to you, you want to ensure that you have a plan for your children.  This can be one of the most difficult areas to address, but if the worst happens you will be glad that you did.

Finally, if you have a trust in place, be sure to review the beneficiaries and the asset distribution to make sure that it still makes sense.  Depending on your financial situation, a trust may be a strategic tax vehicle so make sure you understand how things change now that you are single.

Communicating Changes Effectively

Since estate planning documents are legal documents, it is always advisable to work with an attorney when drafting and updating them.  A reputable estate planning attorney will not only help you draft the required documents, but also advise you on your options and help you avoid any pitfalls. 

Once you have the updated documents in place, you want to communicate the relevant changes with the important people in your life.  Let your family know of your wishes, to avoid confusion or disputes.  Also be sure to inform the executors and trustees of their roles and responsibilities.

Move Forward with Confidence

There are many things to think about as a newly single woman.  Embrace life changes by proactively updating your estate plan to reflect your current circumstances.  It’s not the most glamorous task, but you can secure your legacy by ensuring your estate plan accurately reflects your wishes.  Taking this step will allow you to move forward with confidence, knowing that your estate plan is up-to-date and aligned with your goals.

Updating your estate plan after divorce or the loss of a spouse is a critical step in ensuring your financial affairs are in order. By understanding the impact of life changes, addressing key components of estate planning, and communicating changes effectively, you can navigate these transitions with confidence and peace of mind.

Sara Zuckerman, CFP®, CDFA® is the founder of Reset Financial Planning located Scottsdale, AZ and serving women across the country with a focus on helping women who find themselves suddenly single in mid-life, align their financial resources with their values to plan for the next chapter of their lives.

 

If you are interested in learning about how I can help you take charge of your finances as a newly single woman, please contact me at  or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

 

Sign up for Reset FP’s Monthly Newsletter to effortlessly stay on top of my weekly blog posts and occasional extra goodies and receive my Get Your Finances Organized Checklist for free!

 

Disclaimer: This article is provided for educational, general information, and illustration purposes only. Nothing contained in the material constitutes tax advice, a recommendation for purchase or sale of any security, or investment advisory services. We encourage you to consult a financial planner, accountant, and/or legal counsel for advice specific to your situation. Reproduction of this material is prohibited without written permission from Reset Financial Planning, LLC, and all rights are reserved. 

Crafting Meaningful Thanksgiving Traditions in a Time of Transition

As we kick off the holiday season with Thanksgiving, it’s only natural to think about tradition.  For so many of us, the holidays and related traditions are linked with memories going back to childhood.  And if you are newly single, it can be a time that brings sadness and grief about how life used to be.  But it can also be an opportunity to create new traditions or focus on those traditions you cherish the most while letting others fall by the wayside.

Thanksgiving Memories from Childhood

For me, Thanksgiving dinners growing up were never very large affairs.  In fact, most of the Thanksgivings I remember were only three people, my brother, myself and whichever of our parents was entitled to Thanksgiving on the custody calendar for that year.  Our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins lived all over the US and travelling to see any of them was rarely in the cards.  So, we had small Thanksgiving dinners at home, with just the three of us.

While it may not have looked like the Thanksgiving you see on TV, when I think of holidays and family and tradition, I think of Thanksgiving.  It’s my favorite holiday and one that I look forward to with anticipation for weeks beforehand.  I love cooking all of the traditional foods that I remember from my childhood.  The stuffing I make is my mother’s recipe and something about the smells of the butter and onions sautéing for that stuffing early on Thanksgiving morning takes me right back to my childhood.  I also set the table with her China, just as she did.  It’s the one time a year that I bring out those special dishes and I am always a bit anxious with my rambunctious boys running around, but it just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without them on the table.

Now that I have my own family, I cherish being able to create these memories for my children.  And I know that they are developing the same connections with the holiday and the food that I have.  This year, as I was putting together the menu (which is basically the same every year), I suggested that perhaps we try a different dessert.  Not because I don’t love what we usually have, but because I have been seeing lots of new recipes that look good, and I always enjoy trying new recipes.  But that idea was quickly discouraged.  To them, Thanksgiving is synonymous with apple pie and pumpkin pie and anything else just won’t do.

Creating New Traditions in a New Season

Change is hard, especially during the holidays.  Rather than letting it get you down, use this as a time to reflect on how far you have come.  Maybe you are in a different place than you imagined at this point in your life.  But think about what you have accomplished that you are proud of.  You have likely had to learn new things, take on new challenges and develop independence.  None of that is easy and you should be proud of yourself for how far you have come.

It’s also a time to reflect on your values and priorities.  What holiday traditions do you love?  And which can you live without?  Are you tired of spending Thanksgiving with your second Cousin Phil, who kind of creeps you out?  Maybe it’s time to change that.  Are there things you loved about the holidays as a child that you didn’t get to recreate during your marriage?  Take this opportunity to revisit and revive those traditions as you create new memories for yourself and your children.  Be a little bit selfish and create the holiday season that makes you feel joy at this time in your life.

Another way to bring more joy to the season is to incorporate your personal passions.  Love spending the day in the kitchen cooking an entire Thanksgiving dinner?  Then do that.  But if what you really love is baking, then volunteer to make the pies or other treats while someone else does the turkey.  And if cooking isn’t your jam but you love creating art, then find a way to bring your artwork to the meal and leave the cooking to someone else.  By finding a way to focus on your passions, you can find your joy.

Embracing Gratitude & Connection

Thanksgiving is also a time to embrace gratitude.  The holiday is all about giving thanks for what we have.  It’s a great reminder to reflect on what you are grateful for.  Even if life has thrown you some curveballs this year, there are still things to be grateful for.  Whether its health or family or sweater weather or Pumpkin Spice lattes, this season offers so much to enjoy.  Don’t let the little things go unnoticed or unappreciated.  Focusing on gratitude can be a great way to help you get through tough times.

This can also be a time to nurture relationships.  Whether it’s spending some quiet time with your kids or reconnecting with friends and family that you haven’t spent as much time with as you would like.  The holidays create an excuse to reach out and connect.  Lean on those around you for support as you seek to rebuild your traditions.

Reflecting Back and Looking Forward

As I start to prepare our Thanksgiving dinner this year, I can’t help but reflect back to all the memories this holiday carries for me.  Cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, turkey and all the pie.  The food is a big part of it.  But beyond the food, it’s family.  It’s traditions and memories that take me back to my childhood and that I hope my children carry on to their children. 

So, if your Thanksgiving looks and feels different this year, it’s ok to be sad about that.  But it is also ok to create new traditions.  Or to dig out old traditions and start them anew.  Your holidays don’t have to look like a Hallmark channel movie, they can look like whatever brings you joy.  If that is spending all day cooking a turkey and stuffing and sweet potatoes, great.  If that is going to a friend’s house and just bringing the wine, then that is fine too.  You get to decide how you spend your day and the memories that you create.

If you are interested in learning about how I can help you take charge of your finances as a newly single woman, please contact me at  or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

Sign up for Reset FP’s Monthly Newsletter to effortlessly stay on top of my weekly blog posts and occasional extra goodies and receive my Get Your Finances Organized Checklist for free!

Follow my YouTube channel for weekly videos covering a range of topics that will be helpful to you as you start to take control of your finances and adjust to your new normal.

Navigating Mid-Life Transitions: Choosing the Right Financial Advisor

Finding yourself unexpectedly single at mid-life creates countless challenges. For many women, there are several financial questions that arise, and they consider hiring a financial advisor. Having a knowledgeable and trustworthy advisor by your side can make a significant difference in navigating your financial future. It can be a great decision if you find the right professional.  Today, we will discuss three key considerations when looking for a financial advisor to guide you through this time of transition.

Expertise & Specialization

First and foremost, you will want to seek out an advisor who specializes in handling divorce or widowhood. There is an emotional component to your situation that goes beyond a typical investment allocation conversation. Just as you wouldn’t go to a heart surgeon for a knee problem, hiring an advisor who primarily focuses on retirement planning may not be the best fit for you at this time.

Additionally, if you were not the primary financial manager during your marriage, you will want someone who can educate and empower you as you move forward. Even if you and your spouse previously worked with an advisor, that advisor might be more of a generalist and may not have the experience to help you with the emotional side of your transition.

For many newly single women, this is the first time they are meeting with a financial advisor.  It can be an intimidating experience.  There is a lot of industry jargon and if you aren’t familiar with it, you may not understand what is being discussed.  By seeking out an advisor that specializes in working with women like you, you are more likely to find someone who will partner with you and educate you so that you can feel more confident in your financial situation.

Trust & Compatibility

The second crucial consideration is compatibility. You should feel comfortable sharing personal financial information and discussing your goals and concerns openly. Seek an advisor who demonstrates empathy, active listening skills, and a genuine interest in your well-being.  You want to know that your advisor understands your priorities and is listening to your concerns. 

It’s also important to ensure that your advisor is a fiduciary, meaning that they are obligated to act in your best interest.  Unfortunately, not all advisors operate to this standard.  Many advisors, especially those at large brokerage and insurance companies, are only required to show that products they sell are suitable for the investor, not necessarily in their best interests.  This is where organizations like the National Association of Personal Financial Planners (NAPFA) or the Certified Financial Planner (CFP) Board can be helpful because their members are required to operate under the fiduciary standard.

In addition to using the organizations above, consider asking for referrals from friends, family, or professionals in your network.  Ask around and find people who have had positive experiences with their financial advisors. Don’t hesitate to meet with multiple advisors to find someone you connect with on a personal level.  And don’t feel pressured to make decisions or commitments before you are comfortable.  This relationship will play a crucial role in your financial journey moving forward.

Fee Structure & Transparency

Lastly, it’s essential to consider the fee structure of a financial advisor. Different advisors have varying fee structures, ranging from commission on the sale of products to fee-for-advice models. Take the time to understand how the advisor charges for their services and ensure it aligns with your preferences and financial goals.

Advisors who receive commissions need to sell you a product to get compensated.  Whether that product is a mutual fund or an insurance policy, their focus will be on getting you to buy the product.  They may be less focused on whether the product is the best solution for you and more focused on closing the deal.

Fee-only advisors, on the other hand, are paid directly by their clients and not for the sale of products.  This means that you will have to pay them directly for their advice, but also that they are generally more focused on finding the right solutions for you rather than getting you to buy a specific product.  They are also more likely to help with a wide array of financial planning topics like cash flow, estate planning and taxes, in addition to investments.

A transparent advisor will provide clear explanations of their services, fees, and the investment options available to you. It’s important to have a complete understanding of the financial relationship you’re entering.  Ask questions about what is included as well as what is not.  And if the service model doesn’t fit what you need, know that there are many other types of advisors and models out there.

Conclusion

Hiring a financial advisor to help you navigate your new situation can be one of the best decisions you make.  As long as you find the right advisor for you and your current needs.  When selecting a financial advisor to help you transition after loss of your spouse, consider:

  1. their expertise in working with women like you,
  2. their compatibility with you and your style, and
  3. their fee structure

By carefully evaluating these factors, you can find an advisor who not only understands your unique circumstances but also provides the guidance and support needed to help you move forward confidently.

Remember, this decision is crucial for your financial well-being, so take your time, ask questions, and trust your instincts. Finding the right financial advisor can be a powerful step in taking control of your financial life during this significant transition.

If you are interested in learning about how I can help you take charge of your finances as a newly single woman, please contact me at  or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

Sign up for Reset FP’s Monthly Newsletter to effortlessly stay on top of my weekly blog posts and occasional extra goodies and receive my Get Your Finances Organized Checklist for free!

Follow my YouTube channel for weekly videos covering a range of topics that will be helpful to you as you start to take control of your finances and adjust to your new normal.

Thriving After Loss: Three Stories of Resilience

Life’s unexpected turns can challenge even the most carefully laid plans. For women, losing a spouse can bring profound changes, including those that ripple through financial strategies. Below are the inspiring stories of three women who faced unforeseen tragedies in their fifties and found the strength to reshape their financial paths. Each story underscores the importance of reevaluating priorities and adapting strategies, offering valuable insights for women navigating similar journeys.

Rediscovering Independence and Dreams

Jane and Roger retired to Oregon with dreams of a peaceful cabin life. They both spent their careers working in tech in Silicon Valley and were looking forward to a simpler existence. Thanks to being diligent savers and investors, they were able to retire in their 50’s and were planning for a long retirement.

Unfortunately, the universe had different plans. Roger was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed just a few months after their move. Jane was devastated. They had worked so hard for all their lives and had been imagining their cabin in the woods for years. Would she be able to continue with the plans on her own? Or would she need to plan a new future?

Inexperienced with their investments, Jane faced the daunting task of understanding their financial landscape. Fortunately, Roger planned well, and things were as organized as they could have been. This allowed Jane to combine assets seamlessly and feel confident that the nest egg would allow her to follow their dream and continue building the cabin.

Where she was less confident was in managing the investments going forward. She needed her funds to last another forty or fifty years and she did not want to make a mistake that would put her future at risk. She decided to hire a financial planner to help her with the investment management. We worked to craft a strategy based on her new circumstances. She decided that her earlier strategy was too risky and based more on Roger’s risk tolerance than on her own. We repositioned her accounts to fit with the new situation. Every time we meet, she expresses her gratitude for taking a huge burden off her shoulders.

The cabin in the woods is still under construction, and Jane is looking forward to moving in as soon as she can. She still misses Roger all the time, but she has rediscovered confidence in her independence.

Crafting a New Life Beyond the Shoreline

Lisa and Steve cherished their beachside life in South Carolina until Steve’s sudden passing forced Lisa to reimagine her future. They had been vacationing at the beach in South Carolina for years, so when Steve retired from his job running a manufacturing company outside Philadelphia, they were thrilled to move there full time.

One day, about a year into their dream retirement, Steve had a heart attack on the golf course. Lisa’s world was turned upside down. She had always relied on Steve as the primary earner and financial manager. She had no idea what she was going to do without him. Their plan was to spend many years enjoying the beach and all that retirement had to offer.

As she adjusted to the initial shock, Lisa began to rethink being in South Carolina. While she had friends there, and she and Steve enjoyed it together, she didn’t have any family in the area. Her daughter was working in Washington DC, while her son and her first grandchild were in Colorado. Lisa began to contemplate what it might be like to move closer to one of her children. Her first thought was to move to Colorado as her son was more established and more likely to stay there long term. And of course, that would allow her to spend more time with her grandchild. But what would it look like?

She had no idea if she could afford to buy a new house if she sold the condo which was mortgage free. Lisa was also considering different options, from buying in a 55+ community to partnering with her son to help him buy a bigger house with an in-law suite where she could live. She had several ideas but didn’t know where to start in analyzing what was feasible.

As a first step, Lisa and her son decided to reach out for some professional guidance. I worked with them to analyze the three scenarios and create some guidelines for what a reasonable purchase budget would be. We then compared the long-term impact of each of the scenarios so that she felt comfortable that she wasn’t making a mistake that would put her financial future in jeopardy.

Armed with the new financial plan, Lisa gained the confidence to shift directions and move to Colorado to be closer to family. She is thriving living near, but not with, her son and grandchild. While it’s not the life she had envisioned she is incredibly happy and content where she is now.

Transforming Grief into Purposeful Renewal

April and Jeff had been married about ten years. One afternoon, April got the call no one ever wants to get. Jeff was driving home from work when he was in a car accident. April went into shock. How could this happen? They were so young, they had so much they wanted to do. How was she going to move forward?

It took months for April to come to terms with what had happened, and to even start to think about what it would mean for her future. She was only 52. April had been a homemaker, supporting Jeff and his demanding career, for the past ten years. She felt like she was too young to retire, but without Jeff to care for and support, her days weren’t filled anymore. She wanted a reason to get up in the morning, something to focus on. Confronting grief, April realized the need for purpose and decided that she wanted to reenter the workforce.

She had been out of the workforce a long time, but maybe she could find work that she would enjoy.  She researched her options for almost a year, and during this time sought out help from me.  Not only did she want to understand how this plan might affect her finances, but also needed a thinking partner to help in vetting the options. She ultimately decided to go back to school to become a paralegal.  By using a part of Jeff’s life insurance, April invested in herself, embracing education and forging a new career.

In addition to giving her purpose, this new career and the income it provided significantly improved April’s financial plan.  She could have survived on the retirement savings and life insurance that Jeff had left to her but there wouldn’t have been much room in the budget to enjoy life. With the new career, she has discovered a love of travel and is able to take several trips a year. She is also adding to the retirement savings so that when she does finally retire, she will be able maintain the lifestyle that she is so thoroughly enjoying.

Three Paths Forward

The stories of Jane, Lisa, and April highlight the incredible resilience of women in the face of unexpected loss. These narratives offer valuable lessons in adaptability, reevaluation, and the power of seeking professional guidance.

If you find yourself navigating similar circumstances, remember that there’s no single right way to move forward. By partnering with a knowledgeable financial advisor who understands your unique challenges, you can chart a course that aligns with your values and aspirations. The loss of a spouse can be a catalyst for profound change, giving you the opportunity to rebuild not just financially, but emotionally and personally, as well.

As you consider these stories, reflect on your own journey and the support you have at your disposal. Whether it’s aligning investments, exploring new career paths, or crafting a sustainable retirement plan, your financial planner can guide you toward a future that’s as empowering as it is unexpected. Embrace the resilience within you and take each step forward with the knowledge that you’re not alone on this journey of renewal.

Make Sense of Your Financial Life After Losing Your Spouse

Losing spouse mid-life is rarely part of the plan. In addition to grieving the loss of your partner, you are faced with a myriad of financial decisions that can add to the stress:

  • Maybe you are considering selling your home to downsize or move closer to family for support
  • Or you are contemplating going back to work after an extended period caring for children or considering a career change into something that is better suited to your newly single status
  • There may be life insurance proceeds that you need to manage, and decide how to best leverage as you move forward

How can you possibly make all of these decisions while also dealing with all of the emotion of this difficult time in life? Having a framework to leverage can be a helpful starting point. I recommend that all of my clients follow a four-step process:

  1. Reorganize your financial life
  2. Reassess your financial priorities
  3. Reimagine your future
  4. Realign your resources

Using this framework can give you the confidence you need to move forward into the next chapter and take control of your financial situation in the process.

Get Your Financial Life Organized

The first, and probably most important, step to take is to get organized. In most couples, there is typically one partner who takes more ownership of the finances. If that was not you, you may not even know where all of the accounts are, or what the logins are for the various institutions. So, you will need to use statements, tax returns and any other records you may have in order to try to find all of your accounts. You will then need to work with each firm where you have accounts to have the accounts switched into your name alone (hopefully you are listed as beneficiary on any accounts that were only in your husband’s name as this will speed along the process). Once all of the paperwork is complete and the accounts are titled in your name, you can begin consolidating them, or moving them all to one firm. While this is not a requirement, it will make your life much easier going forward. You will only need to remember one login, and it will be much easier to see and manage your full financial picture. And don’t forget to update beneficiaries on any existing or new accounts so that they go where you want them to if anything should happen to you. Along those same lines, you will also need to draft a new will (especially if you have minor children).

Do You Have the Same Priorities Since You Lost Your Spouse?

Once you have things organized and have a good understanding of what you have, the next step is to reassess your financial priorities. Prior to this transition, you and your late husband probably had financial goals that you were working towards together. But do those goals still make sense in the new reality? Does money you were saving for a dream vacation now need to be used to keep paying the mortgage while you get back into the workforce? If you were a two-income household, what now needs to change so that everything works with just one income? You need to consider both short- and long-term goals. While the shorter-term needs might feel most pressing, you can’t lose sight of the longer terms needs like retirement and the kids’ college. Some things that used to be a priority might not seem so important as you adjust to the new normal.

Let Your Values Drive Your Vision for the Future

Armed with a good understanding of your financial situation and list of your priorities, you can begin to reimagine your future based on what you value most. When creating a financial plan, one of the most important things a person can do is really define their values. The first time I was asked what I value most in life, I couldn’t answer the question. It took me a week of pondering (and Googling lists of values) to really understand what my values are (and why trying to force myself to do things that aren’t aligned with my values creates frustration and disconnection in my life). So, spend some time thinking about what your values are, write them down and keep them handy because when you need to make financial decisions it is much easier when you know which decisions are in line with your values and which are not. For example, if your primary value is time with family, and you are offered a job with a big paycheck that seems like it will solve all of your financial worries but it requires you to be on the road (and away from your family) 75% of the time, then it probably isn’t the right answer for you. Using your values as the center point, you can start to create a vision of the kind of life that you want to create for yourself. Having a clear picture of where you want to go is the first step in moving forward.

Realign Your Resources with Your Vision

Finally, once you have a vision for the future, you can realign your resources to help you get there. While your financial resources are obviously a part of this equation, you also have to think about how you want to use your time and energy. Together your money, time and energy are your human capital and they are the three resources that you have to help live the life you want. Whenever you need to make a decision on how to spend your time, money or energy, think back to your values and if spending the time/money/energy will bring you closer to your values or move you further away. When you are making decisions that bring you closer to your values, you will be happier and more fulfilled in life. And you deserve that.

While none of this is easy, using this framework can give you a good place to start. And if you want support or help along the way, feel free to Schedule a Call so we can talk.